Sporistics
The 14th Annual Big Lava Swim / Analysis
By STUPIDOO
12/27/2013 - 20:27:39
Type: Story adventure
Rating: 0 (Not rated)
Featuring...
Basic info
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Intro message:
Welcome to Kaza Lava, a town with grossly mismatched buildings built only to host this race. Miralynn is at the other end of the road with the dumbass contestants.
Welcome to Kaza Lava, a town with grossly mismatched buildings built only to host this race. Miralynn is at the other end of the road with the dumbass contestants.
Win message:
Can't argue with trying to escape that fight. Last time this happened the Green Grass Retirement Community was destroyed!
Can't argue with trying to escape that fight. Last time this happened the Green Grass Retirement Community was destroyed!
Lose message:
After a very ironic twist and a technicality in the frighteningly complex Big Lava Swim Rule Book, you've actually won the race!
After a very ironic twist and a technicality in the frighteningly complex Big Lava Swim Rule Book, you've actually won the race!
Acts
ACT 1 : One End of Town
How the hell did Kaza Lava ever get to a population of 20?
How the hell did Kaza Lava ever get to a population of 20?
ACT 2 : Well then...
Get on over to the Statue of Idiocy, a famous monument dedicated to the absolute imbeciles that sign up for this damn race.
Get on over to the Statue of Idiocy, a famous monument dedicated to the absolute imbeciles that sign up for this damn race.
ACT 3 : Jadie
Well now this true Galactic idiot is competing... Also, she's Miralynn's oldest sister if you didn't know.
Well now this true Galactic idiot is competing... Also, she's Miralynn's oldest sister if you didn't know.
ACT 4 : 14th Annual Big Lava Swim
Clearly you can just use the bridge to that distant marker out there...
Clearly you can just use the bridge to that distant marker out there...
ACT 5 : The Boat
Load onto the really slow boat.
Load onto the really slow boat.
ACT 6 : Slow Boat
This boat leads to the finish line! At some point.
This boat leads to the finish line! At some point.
ACT 7 : THE TROPHY!!!
Someone's going to get $1,000,000,000,000! And probably bankrupt someone.
Someone's going to get $1,000,000,000,000! And probably bankrupt someone.
ACT 8 : Too Bad
If you want to read the full unabridged 4,500-page Rule Book, talk to tthe Big Lava Swim's CEO.
If you want to read the full unabridged 4,500-page Rule Book, talk to tthe Big Lava Swim's CEO.
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